Invest In Me: How To Make Him Want More

Benjamin Franklin once won over a rival by asking to borrow a rare book from his library. Franklin's request was granted, and he returned the book with a note expressing his gratitude. This story demonstrates that getting someone to invest in you is not about what you do for them, but what they do for you. In the context of dating, this means that instead of performing grand gestures or buying gifts, you should focus on creating a connection and fostering mutual investment. This involves being clear about your intentions, demonstrating your value, and showing vulnerability. It's also important to maintain your own life and not make the other person the sole focus of your attention, as this can lead to an unhealthy power dynamic.

Be selective

Being selective is an important part of dating, especially when you are looking for a long-term partner. It is about knowing your worth and what you want, and not settling for less. Being selective does not mean being picky, but rather, it is about dating with dignity and confidence, and recognising your value as a unique and amazing person worthy of love and respect.

Know Your Worth

Knowing your worth is an important part of being selective. It means understanding your value as a person and what you bring to a relationship. It is about having confidence in yourself and your abilities, and recognising that you deserve a relationship that meets your needs and makes you happy. This confidence will be attractive to the right person and will help you to weed out those who are not willing to invest in you.

Understand What You Want

Being selective also means being clear about what you want in a relationship. This includes being honest with yourself and potential partners about your goals, desires, and deal-breakers. For example, if you are looking for a long-term committed relationship that leads to marriage and a family, it is important to communicate this early on. By being clear about what you want, you can attract partners who are on the same page and avoid wasting time with those who are not looking for the same things.

Don't Settle

When you know your worth and what you want, you can avoid settling for less. This means not lowering your standards or compromising your values just to be in a relationship. It can be tempting to settle, especially if you are feeling lonely or pressured by societal expectations. However, settling for someone who does not meet your needs or align with your values will only lead to disappointment and unhappiness in the long run. It is better to be patient and wait for the right person who respects you, treats you well, and is willing to invest in building a relationship with you.

Keep Your Options Open

Being selective does not mean closing yourself off from potential partners. It is important to keep an open mind and heart, and to continue meeting and dating different people. This allows you to explore your options and discover what you do and do not want in a partner. It also helps to prevent you from becoming too attached too quickly to someone who may not be right for you. By keeping your options open, you can make more informed decisions about who you want to invest your time and energy in.

Trust Your Instincts

Finally, trusting your instincts is an important part of being selective. If something feels off about a person or a relationship, it is usually for a reason. Pay attention to any red flags or warning signs, and don't ignore your gut feelings. Your instincts are often a reliable indicator of whether someone is right for you or not. By trusting your instincts, you can avoid getting into relationships with people who are not worthy of your time and investment.

Be confident and clear about what you want

Being confident and clear about what you want is a crucial aspect of fostering a healthy relationship dynamic and inspiring your partner to invest in you emotionally. Here are some instructive guidelines to help you achieve this:

Recognize Your Value

The first step towards confidence is recognizing your worth and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship. Identify your positive traits, such as kindness, good communication skills, compassion, and loyalty. Understand that these attributes make you a valuable partner. Write them down and reflect on them whenever you need a reminder. Additionally, acknowledge how you make your partner feel—loved, happy, and cared for. This awareness will boost your self-esteem and help you realize your importance in the relationship.

Communicate Your Needs and Wants

An essential aspect of confidence is being clear about your needs and wants. Know what you expect from the relationship and express it to your partner. For example, if you desire a partner who shares household responsibilities or is open to trying new hobbies with you, communicate these expectations. Being upfront about your needs demonstrates confidence and helps set clear boundaries. It also allows your partner to understand you better and work towards meeting those needs, fostering a more fulfilling relationship for both of you.

Maintain Your Individuality

While it's natural to want to spend time with your partner, it's crucial to maintain your sense of self within the relationship. Continue pursuing your hobbies and interests, and make time for your friends. This independence will give you a sense of fulfillment and help you avoid becoming overly reliant on your partner for happiness. It's all about balance—make your partner a priority, but also ensure you prioritize yourself and the things that matter to you. This will make you appear more confident and assured, which is attractive to a potential long-term partner.

Be Vulnerable and Open

Vulnerability is a sign of strength and confidence. Being open and honest about your feelings, hopes, dreams, and fears creates a deeper connection and fosters intimacy. It takes courage to lower your guard and share your true self with someone, but it is an essential part of building a solid foundation for your relationship. Start with small steps, gradually opening up and letting your partner in. This vulnerability will inspire your partner to do the same, leading to a more authentic and emotionally invested relationship.

Set Clear Boundaries

Knowing and communicating your boundaries is a vital aspect of confidence. Be clear about what you are comfortable with and what you are not. For instance, if you are not okay with your partner spending time with an ex or engaging in excessive flirting with others, express this to them. Discussing these boundaries together will help you feel more secure and confident in the relationship. However, it's important to keep your expectations reasonable and respect your partner's privacy, such as not demanding constant access to their phone.

Practice Self-Care and Self-Love

Taking care of yourself is essential for building confidence. Engage in activities that make you feel good, such as pampering yourself, spending time in nature, or reading a book. Prioritize self-care and make time for the things that bring you joy. Additionally, practice positive affirmations and silence your inner critic. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, powerful, and confident. Over time, these affirmations will become your reality, and you will carry yourself with more assurance.

Be vulnerable

Vulnerability is an important aspect of any relationship. It involves taking the risk to reveal your emotions and weaknesses, and it is essential in fostering a closer, deeper, and more authentic bond with your partner. While it can be scary to put yourself out there, being vulnerable can lead to a stronger, more meaningful connection. Here are some ways to incorporate vulnerability into your relationship:

Discuss Your Feelings

Open up to your partner about how you feel, especially when it comes to discussing your vulnerability. Let them know if you've had positive or negative experiences with being vulnerable in the past. This will help them understand your perspective and potentially make it easier for you to be vulnerable with them. Sharing your feelings also helps your partner relate to you better and imagine the nuance of your emotions.

Admit Your Flaws and Weaknesses

Being vulnerable means showing your true self to your partner, flaws and all. Admit that you're not perfect and that you have areas where you struggle or could improve. This type of honesty helps build trust and intimacy in your relationship. It also gives your partner the opportunity to accept and love you for who you truly are.

Share Your Needs

Another way to be vulnerable is to communicate your needs and expectations clearly. This can be scary because it opens you up to potential rejection or disappointment if your needs aren't met. However, sharing your needs is crucial for building a strong relationship. It helps your partner understand what you want and need from them and allows them to step up and support you in the ways that matter most to you.

Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Instead of blaming others or making excuses, take responsibility for your actions and behaviours. This type of vulnerability shows maturity and self-awareness. It also demonstrates that you're willing to acknowledge your mistakes and work on improving yourself, which can strengthen your partner's trust and respect for you.

Be Open About Your Past

Sharing experiences from your past, such as traumas or hardships, can be a way to build vulnerability and intimacy in your relationship. However, it's important to do so gradually and in a way that doesn't overwhelm your partner. Be mindful of the timing and context of these conversations, and be aware of whether you're sharing these experiences to genuinely connect or if you're using them as a way to keep the relationship surface-level.

Remember, vulnerability is a two-way street. As you open up to your partner, create a safe space for them to do the same. Be supportive and non-judgmental when they share their feelings and experiences with you. By embracing vulnerability together, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Show you have an active life

Showing that you have an active life is an important part of making someone invest in you. This doesn't mean using words like "busy" or "slammed" to describe your schedule. Instead, you should communicate that your time is valuable and that you are willing to make time for the person you are interested in. For example, you could say something like, "I have an active schedule this week, but I would love to make time to spend together. I'm free on Thursday or Sunday." Maintaining your routine and being flexible when necessary to fit in a date communicates that your time is valuable and that you are willing to make compromises for the right person.

One way to show that you have an active life is to get involved in social activities that interest you. This could include joining a running club, a yoga class, or a workout group at your local gym. These activities provide opportunities to meet new people and increase your social interactions. They also demonstrate your commitment and determination to follow through on your interests.

Additionally, staying consistent with your fitness routine or a new diet or fitness plan can show that you have the willpower and determination to commit to something. This can be attractive to potential partners, as it indicates that you are capable of committing to a relationship as well.

Another way to showcase your active life is to incorporate physical activities into your dates. Instead of the typical dinner and a movie, suggest an early morning hike, a beginner's boxing class, renting bicycles, or trying out a new cooking class together. This adds an element of fun and creates memorable experiences that you can laugh about together.

Lastly, having an active life can also improve your mental state and boost your confidence. Engaging in physical activities will make you feel better about yourself and increase your self-assurance when approaching potential partners or going on dates. Confidence is an attractive quality, so increasing your confidence will naturally make you more appealing to others.

By maintaining an active life and effectively communicating your availability, you can showcase your value and inspire the right person to invest in building a relationship with you.

Reward him and make him feel good

Rewarding Him and Making Him Feel Good

Rewarding your partner and making him feel good is an important part of building a healthy relationship. Here are some ways to do that:

Show Your Appreciation

Let your partner know that you see and appreciate the efforts he makes for you. Acknowledge the little and big things he does, from helping provide for the household to doing chores and buying gifts. Say "thank you" and express your gratitude for the things he does for you. Make sure he knows that you don't take him or his actions for granted.

Compliment Him

Men enjoy being admired by their partners, and sincere compliments can go a long way in making him feel loved and valued. Compliment his qualities, deeds, and even things like his scent or sense of style. Give him your undivided attention when he's speaking, showing that he's important to you.

Treat Him

Plan a fun activity or a special night centred around things he loves. Cook his favourite meal, put on his favourite songs, and watch his favourite film. Surprise him with small gifts or tickets to see his favourite sports team. These thoughtful gestures will make him feel adored and appreciated.

Flirt and Be Intimate

Flirting and physical intimacy are important aspects of making your man feel desired and loved. Compliment his looks, give him affectionate touches, and playfully tease him. Initiate random moments of intimacy and surprise him. Be sure to respect his boundaries and comfort level, and always ensure that any physical intimacy is consensual.

Support and Stand Up for Him

Show your man that you're there for him by offering emotional support when he's feeling down. Let him know that it's okay to be vulnerable and express his emotions with you. Stand up for him when he's disrespected or treated unfairly, both in his presence and when he's not around. Defend him verbally, or take action to de-escalate the situation if necessary.

Show Your True Self

Letting your guard down and showing your true, authentic self is a powerful way to make your man feel special. Be silly, strange, or wild—whatever feels natural when you're with him. This demonstrates how comfortable and safe you feel in his presence, which can encourage him to do the same.

Frequently asked questions